Love Stinks
by XToxicX
Summary: Dropping hints at Mimi never made her so angry. Dimentio's last 'hint' hits her the hardest. [One-Shot.]


"Awwwww! C'mon, Nastasia!"

Mimi whined at her superior, pouting and upping bottom lip power to maximum.

"No. Now, um, you get back to work, K?"

The woman eyed the dress Mimi held in distaste. It was purple, and seemed ballroom like in that effect. Not entirely her style; it was incredibly cliché.

"...Mrmmmm..." the younger one grumbled, folding her arms and not looking amused.

Nastasia turned to walk out of the room, readjusting her glasses and settling her hands on her lap.

"Geez, Nassy! You aren't EVER going to get a boyfriend if you don't lighten up a bit!" Mimi shouted, narrowing her eyes and looking away.

Nastasia paused momentarily, but soon continued out of the door, shutting it behind her.

Mimi frowned, then put the dress on her pish-posh, four-poster, polka-dot bed. "It stinks too, since you're the only one I can even talk girly to!"

She sat on her bed, minding the dress and crossing her legs. She huffed quietly, sounding a tad bitter as she continued.

"I mean, the end of all worlds is going to come soon... I wouldn't want to be alone... So why would she?" she murmured, then shrugged. "Oh, well…"

 **"There's always those hunky lifeguards, hmmmmm, Mimi?"**

"…!" The girl suddenly blushed furiously, then looked around the room, tensing up visibly. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"I'm afraid I'm not in your room," the snide voice responded in a low hum, sounding amused. "Well… if you looked at it the way I did. Ahahahah!"

Mimi's gaze halted on a familiar form, although she herself already knew who it was. She narrowed her eyes, folding her arms and scrunching her face in attempt to look intimidating. It was a fellow a bit taller than her, bearing a mask and similar attire to a jester. He'd seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"My opinion: my room: YOU'RE IN IT!" she yelled, flailing her arms.

"And, that, is where you are wrong, my dear Mimi," the pleaser of crowds replied, sounding ever so smug with that response. In an instant, the fellow vanished, flipping out of existence. Following that exact action, the door swung open, and there stood the original, grinning oh-so-widely.

"I'm not wrong! You're just using your magic stuff!" Mimi huffed, placing her hands firmly on her hips. "That's ENTIRELY different, Dimentio!"

"Is that so?" the jester hummed, clicking his fingers; a flower hovered above his hand, and he looked back at Mimi coyly. "I would be supposing a fair maiden wouldn't want a flower by the hands of magic then…"

Mimi squinted, going bright red, though whether it was from embarrassment or anger was to be debated. "No! Keep your stupid flower to yourself!"

"Oh, how she wounds me," Dimentio mocked, clicking his fingers once again. The flower had vanished in an array of sparkles.

"What do you want, Dimentio?" Mimi spat irritably, watching him carefully. "I have stuff to do!"

"Pray tell, what? Prepare for another battle with the legendary hero?"

Mimi shook her head with an irritated sigh as she stared at him.

"Welllll, it was _your_ idea," she replied, quietly. "Why aren't _you_ getting ready anyways?!"

"Oh, I assure you, I already pack quite a punch regardless," Dimentio replied arrogantly, though silently laughed at his side of the plan. To Mimi, however, it would look as if he was proud of his own abilities. And of course he was… and these accursed people would soon learn the full brunt of them…

"Uh-huh, riiiiiight," Mimi replied with a conceited expression, lowering one eye lid. "Which is WHY you got beat by the hero last time, right?"

"That was merely a starter," Dimentio responded, dismissively, "And I severely hindered our esteemed opponent thereafter, after, say, grinding a few technological gears…"

"Humph. Well, I know of someone's gears you're grinding right now," the girl murmured.

"Oh?" he asked innocently, smiling in self-satisfaction. "Something bothers you, Mimi?"

"Get to the point. Why are you here?" Mimi murmured, staring at him intently.

 _Well, my, doesn't she look about as angry as a jittering wasp… sadly not much of a threat._

"Well?"

"Oh, just checking in," the jester replied, sounding completely calm about it. "I'm to do the same with the others, as well… particularly our well-regarded Mr. L."

"'Well-regarded'?" Mimi spat, turning away. "He's a jerk! An arrogant, insensitive jerk! He does all his work in that 'bro-bot' thing or whatever! _Then_ he boasts about how senior he is compared to the rest of us! He's the junior…"

"I wouldn't worry about him for too long, my dear," Dimentio replied, examining his hands with an almost sinister expression. "…not that you'll care soon enough…"

"I hope so… I… wait… What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, facing him once again and standing.

"Oh, forgive me, I've said far too much! Spoiler alert! Ahahaha…"

"Dimentio!" Mimi yelled, her expression stern and her voice searing with anger. It sounded hoarse, a tad unnerving to any's ears, but Dimentio wasn't afraid of a tiny raise in someone's voice. Especially not from any of _these_ people…

"Ciao!" the jester chimed, clicking his fingers. Grinning with pride, he vanished, and reappeared in a rather high-cultured area—except….

Dimentio did _not_ count on the shape-shifter suddenly being all clingy and hugging him to death. Well, if you could call that hugging; she'd certainly latched on quite tightly, with the most stubborn expression Dimentio had seen from her.

"Tell me what you meant…!" she hissed. "And don't you dare say I imagined it! You said I wouldn't care, and that implies something VERY, VERY BAD…"

"It's merely a play on words," Dimentio hummed. "Ah, the classic case of misunderstanding… you see, Mimi, you won't care eventually, simply because… you'll have everything you want."

"…?"

"The supposed end of all worlds? The Count's promise of entirely new ones? Perfect and to your every desire?" he asked, then gave a half-hearted, casual shrug. "Your own; of course you wouldn't care about everything that would go on now; this will all be over soon. These astounding theatrics will soon reach their finale!"

Mimi squinted at him suspiciously.

"And, this delectable ending also includes your dream of pools of Rubees and hunky lifeguard—!"

 **SLAP!**

"Stop bringing that up!" Mimi yelled.

Dimentio's eyes narrowed as Mimi dare laid a hand on him, but he sighed deeply, and shrugged it off.

She would get it… _soon enough_ … so for now… he would let her off…

"I have explained myself quite thoroughly, and to your whim," the jester replied, almost a bit flatly. "Would the maiden care to let go of me?"

"What, so you can ditch me?" Mimi huffed, her grip tightening. "NO. I'm not done with you just yet…You see, mister, you're up to something funny!"

"Ah, the irony," Dimentio chuckled.

"You know that isn't what I meant!" Mimi growled. "You're up to something funny, _sinister,_ and I don't like it! You touch the Count, or Nassy, or ANYONE here, and you'll have **_ME_** to deal with, get it?!"

 _As much as I'd hate to do it…_

"Indeed, I do," Dimentio replied, retaining his usual poker-face. "But, my fashionable ally, your imagination is certainly beyond the usual today! I would dream of no such thing! After all, am I not gaining something from this? Why would I dare stir trouble when I am in a fair place for ravishing rewards?"

"…" Mimi glared at him. "I'm still keeping an eye on you!"

"It is so very sad to know I will pester you for no apparent reason," Dimentio sighed, with a mock tone of concern.

"I'm verily certain it is, my dear Dimentio!" Mimi seethed.

"Adorable how you attempt to pass off an impersonation of me," Dimentio teased, then looked at the distant castle of King Sammer. "Unfortunately, you will only ever get the esteemed 'A' for appearance."

Red at the word 'adorable', Mimi gave a low noise of anger. "Oh, pretending to be YOU would be easy! I'm not even trying! Not AT ALLLLLL!"

"Oh, really, now?"

"Yeah! You're a creep! You read my diary! You don't have manners! And you're cooking up something shifty what I don't like!"

"Well, don't you know me like the back of your hand," Dimentio responded, sounding amused.

"I do!" Mimi's pigtails swished forward as she neared his face with a fuming expression.

"Entirely a bad time to bring it up," Dimentio hummed, slowly pushing her out of his face, to which Mimi was not happy with. "But I settled on the last few pages of your..." He wanted to say 'memoirs'. He really did, but he'd pushed it enough already… "…interesting book of dreams and desires…"

"…WHAT?!" Mimi snarled, shoving her face forcefully in front of his. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE…!"

"Oh, please, you knew by that point I'd easily catch on and venture to the very last page," he deadpanned at her, not seeming bothered by the closeness of their faces.

"Catch on…?!" Mimi stiffened, her black, beady eyes shrinking.

 _He doesn't… does he?!_

"You talked greatly about a certain fellow or other… some sweetheart you regarded highly."

"He's nobody!" Mimi replied nervously, and then jumped down, folding her arms and avoiding looking at Dimentio.

"Oh, but you talk a great deal about him…!" Dimentio stated with a playful tone. "I am ever so curious as to what delightful _hoodlum_ has caught Madam Mimi's eye!"

"It's none of your business!"

"Ah, avoiding one's sight, so flustered about a topic…"

"What are you suggesting?"

The jester twiddled his fingers.

"Nothing at all, dear maiden. But I do suggest you pick your crushes more accordingly."

"…Huh?!" Mimi blinked, staring at him in surprise.

"I never did get a name… apparently, you'd kept it with you… But, I am clever enough to understand who you are speaking of… And I doubt that being plausible…"

 _Not being plausible…? But…_

"Here's a little tippet, dear Mimi: the Count's heart does not belong with you-it's long since broken... And neither dear Nastasia… ah, some things WISHED they went by unnoticed…"

"…The Count…?" Mimi asked slowly, registering what he was saying.

 _What does he..._

 _..._

 _…he doesn't know then…_

 _He doesn't know at all…_

"…Oh! Er, yeah, well… STAY OUT OF MY DIARY!" Mimi replied, flailing her arms and clearly flustered. "And stop spying on the Count, too! Or I'll get you!"

"Avoiding telling the truth?" the joker chuckled, "It will be ever so amusing when this flower buds and flourishes…"

 _…because the traumatic, dramatic ending will be one to die for!_

"Yeah, whatever! Just go away!" Mimi huffed, standing on her tip-toes and glaring up at him. "Geez!"

"Very well; I will take my leave…" Dimentio hummed, bowing. "Thank you for your undivided attention, Mimi. You were an incredible show. Ahahahahah!"

"Mimimi…." The girl grumbled incoherently as the magician vanished from sight, in a no-less-than magical way per usual.

She then sighed, quietly, and looked around, staring at her surroundings. She sensed something off here…

…A Pure Heart…?

"How ironic…" she mumbled quietly, "…but it hardly helped me…"

 _This person is my world! Gee, I don't know if this'll ever happen, but I'll be so excited! We can do so much!_

 _Out of retrospect, I've been talking about this guy a lot… by golly, it's probably taken up half of the book! Ehehe! But… although it'd ease me to write it down, it wouldn't be safe in here! I mean, what if someone is still reading this thing?_

 _I'm gonna' write the name down, rip it out of this book, and keep it for good measure! Secure plan; no one will find out!_

 _My darling sweetheart is—_

"…"

Mimi looked down at her hand. She pulled a ripped piece of paper out of her pouch.

 _—you._

Mimi frowned sadly and looked down.

"…who else would read my diary but me…" she mumbled quietly.

She pocketed the paper again, then looked to the rooves of King Sammer's kingdom.

"Love stinks."

* * *

 **My word, I finished Super Paper Mario the other day, and, gosh, the feels! The characters are fab and the story made me cry! Especially the ending…**

 **Mimi is one of my favourite characters, and I noticed she and Dimentio are a bit similar in that they warp and stuff… well, magic case anyway. I mean, Mimi shapeshifts and Dimentio does his own kind of magic. I learned recently that apparently, Mimi X Dimentio is canon in the Japanese version… well, half of it anyways.**

 **So I wrote dis! 030**

 **This is set just before the battles at King Sammer's place. And this is my first ever fiction in the Mario fandom. I hope I did good. :O**

 **Thanks for reading! And any reviews would be awesome. :3**


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